I finished whirling out this blog after a moment of inspiration only to find that a blog without pictures is just not as appealing.  So in an effort for visual enhancement I included pictures from my most recent Alaskan adventure, winter camping.

Four of us brave Alaskan women hiked 3 miles at night, in the cold of winter, and with high winds to enjoy a little R and R at the John Muir cabin. Though we seriously contemplated throwing in the bag and going to dinner instead, the lure of adventure eventually won. I have to say hiking out with only our headlamps and the stars to guide our way was fabulous.

Almost as fabulous as getting a personal helicopter lift to work the next morning....not a bad commute if you ask me!

So, Ian and I recently bought a condo. On the practical side it became apparent that though we enjoy our current apartment, paying off our own mortgage rather than someone else's seemed a wiser "investment." I put the word investment in quotes as this is what it has turned out to be. On the obvious side it has been an investment of our money, that goes without saying. But through the process of buying and decorating our condo, unexpected " personal investments" pertaining to choice, social obligation, and morals have made this more than just a simple purchase.

Let me elaborate.

We were interested in making some cosmetic changes. However, when we went to buy a sofa I found myself twitching from all the decisions that I had to make (those of you who know me well know I do this when I am nervous). Style, color, fabric, size....agh! My heart was perilously beating as I was confronted with the chaos of choice, or rather the tyranny of it.

Unknowingly it had seductively whispered that more options were obviously better and they would allow more freedom for me to express my individuality. What it had failed to mention was that this would all take place at the expense of my happiness.

This was heavy on my heart when a friend of mine turned me on to an article called, The Tyranny of Choice (go figure!).  It cites evidence that though logic would tell us that more choice is good, there actually reaches a point when this assumption is completely wrong. Although some is undoubtedly better than none, more is not always better. And statistically speaking their evidence suggests that consequences of unlimited choice from sofas to cereal may go far beyond disappointment to actual suffering and depression. Setting expectations too high undeniably causes disappointment when things fail to deliver or lose their luster. This is often the case in cultures built upon excess where status and self worth is showcased though material possessions. And depressing is where I found myself. Boo!

Then, we wanted to change the flooring. For us, carpet was not an option. They are basically a toxic soup of dangerous fumes and residues hidden by fancy colors and textures to placate our visual senses. And by nature of living in this unsafe soup bowl you are daily spoon feeding your body with a whole bunch of harmful ingredients that are sure to lower you IQ and cause cancer.

Back to choice. Hardwood, laminate, bamboo, cement, cork? Just when we thought we had found a sustainable source in bamboo we found that it too is often manufactured unsustainably and then dipped in formaldehyde for good measure. As we began to explore the toxicity of most American homes, I began to think our ancient ancestors had it right. Living in a grass hut with dirt floors is the safest most sustainable way to go!

We encountered the same situations with furniture. Polybrominated diethyl ethers (PBDE's) and polyurethane, aka flame retardant chemicals.....do some research, they are probably lowering your IQ and causing cancer right now.

So yes, we bought a condo, but what I now realized was that to live in it I would be endangering my health and destroying the earth....sounds fun.

Ian and I spent hours going over flooring, bedding, furniture...I just wanted something simple that would not pollute my body or my Earth. And let me tell you, it became increasingly frustrating and depressing that amidst all the choices out there, finding honest companies that had these same core values in mind was difficult. It got me thinking about a lot of things.

In our attempts to "keep up with the Jones's," companies meet the demands of consumerism by cheaply outsourcing and mass producing toxic junk. Then when we get bored of our junk or after it causes depression we throw it into our dumpsters where its contents eventually reach the landfills and its ingredients leach into our water and soil. Yeah!

Hold on a sec, maybe I don't want this after all! Maybe I do have one simple choice, a choice to say no! A choice to choose simplicity even if it costs more; something I can feel as good about purchasing as I do sitting in. A choice to buy from the one company who is sustainable, treats its workers fairly, and will not destroy my planet, my body, or my soul. And this is where my "investment" really is, with my soul.

So, next enters soul, something I have been neglecting. In all of this chaos I realized it was only experienced as chaos because of the rapids that needed calming in my soul.

In looking at the scale of the life of the cosmos, our time here is truly just a tiny blip. Each one of us is a temporary visitor, a guest, to this planet. Why spend our short time here unhappy, lonely, angry, and in conflict with our fellow visitors, ourselves, and with our Earth?

It is far better to pursue love and a meaningful life, one that is enriched by a sense of connection with and service towards others, and with the planet that sustains it. If we cannot recognize the chaos that we are instilling in our children, will a more caring generation ever emerge?

I realized that at every level of life most of us are giving too much attention to the external material aspects of life and neglecting the inner values and moral ethics that have been innately bequeathed to use at birth.

We can hide behind the term religion, but our faith should truly change us and allow us to strive for the welfare and benefit of all beings; human, animal, and plant alike. It has to stop imposing moral values by command only and strive in addition to teach a higher way to be experienced and lived.

Formal schooling should not only pay attention to arithmetic and science, but also to the education of the heart as well; the indispensability of teaching proficiency of inner values. Love, compassion, justice, forgiveness, the integration of non-violence and peaceful conflict resolution. It should seek to halt the manifestation of an entitled consumerist generation that fails to connect its actions with their global consequences, and teach a generation to unselfishly solve problems and show responsibility both toward themselves and toward the wider world.

As a race we can have simple choices: we can continue on and mutate from the inside out with the toxins we feed our bodies and minds, or we can choose be a dew drop to the soil of the human heart and the world.