It was truly wonderful to have my parents visit last week. Since this was their 5th time in Alaska I had to be creative in my event planning (because there is so little to do here, right?). Since the southeast is home to several remote village islands nestled within the Tongass National Forest, I thought a trip along the Inside Passage to visit a few of them was perfect. 

First stop was Skagway, also known as the "Gateway to the Klondike". When gold was discovered in the Klondike region of Canada's Yukon Territory in 1896, Skagway and its White Pass Trail leading up to the gold fields quickly became a popular destination for many hoping to strike it rich.  

In 1898 the White Pass Railway was built to assist in transporting supplies and men up to the Klondike.  Knowing my dad's fascination with trains and gold mining I thought this historical train ride would be great.....and boy was I right! 

Here is my dad doing one of his favorite things, gold panning.  He quickly acquired the name, Yukon Sam, when he actually brought home some gold flakes. 

The vintage passenger rail takes you through breathtaking panoramic views of mountains, glaciers, gorges, waterfalls, tunnels, and of course many historical sites. I think you can still hear cries of  "gold in the Yukon'" echoing from the steep canyon walls. 

Whale my mom caught on our ferry ride over to Sitka

Next up was Sitka, the town where the United States signed the Alaskan Purchase for $2 per acre from Russia in 1867. This town was not only full of both Russian and Tlingit history, but also my parent's favorite. 

Here are some of the dancers showing their tribal robes depicting their clan moiety. 

Since moving to Alaska and working with the various native tribes here I have really grown to love their culture. Some of their traditions, practices, and dress are actually quite beautiful. To share more of this with my parents I took them to a traditional Tlingit native dance performance, where my mom and I both tried our version of the "raven dance" on stage. 

We then walked through Totem Park where over 20 large hand carved totems proudly stand among the giant spruce.  Each totem design was as varied as the clans that made them. For some they stood to recount legends, clan lineages or important events. To others they were also be used to incorporate grave boxes or provide objects of public ridicule. 

Though I am not a fan of caged animals or zoos (as a matter of fact I try to avoid these as much as possible), I have to admit that the Bear Fortress in Sitka was a highlight for me.  In Alaska if bear cub orphans are found after their mother has been killed they are often euthanized. Thankfully a kind man donated most of his retirement and land to build a sanctuary for the orphaned cubs. 

In Sitka, the Bear Fortress is home to 4 brown bears and 3 black bears that would have otherwise been put down. In watching them play I could tell they were happy to have this home. The staff and bear behavioral psychologist (yes, they have their own psychologist) work hard to keep the bear's minds wild. They hide food, stock the water with fresh live salmon and actually have them hibernate in the winter months. One bear even knows how to use sign language for "more".....very cool. 

Of course, what would be an Alaskan trip without a hike or two. I was especially proud of my mom, who really should have had a knee replacement 5 years ago, keeping up and refusing to give us her backpack to carry! 

Here we are after climbing up a mountain ridge, my mom with her "victory" salute.

One of the things I love most about hiking is being in the natural wild; hearing the birds, feeling the cool clean breeze on my skin,  smelling the fresh earth, and of course sharing the experience with others.  

So, we decided to hike up to a well known Sitka waterfall (of course I cannot remember the name now). When my dad decided to take a rest, I took the opportunity to re-enact a well known scene from a well known story....Abraham and Isaac perhaps? 

My mom thought otherwise.

During the months of June - August, most Alaskan rivers and streams are FILLED with fish. Though you cannot see the Salmon in this river, hundreds upon hundreds of Salmon were jumping and splashing their way upstream. They start their journey in the open sea and when it comes time to breed they travel hundreds of miles (up to1000)  upstream into fresh water to lay there eggs and then die. Amazingly this life  journey brings them back to the same place where they were born.

The story of the salmon life cycle is quite spiritual if you think about it, where does nature get this instinct to knowingly return to its origin? What an amazing gift the Divine has given us through the artistic expression of nature.....you can so learn much from watching its ways.  For it is not only the portal to discover the secrets of the past but a glimpse into what may lie beyond.  All over our great earth nature has written her stories and continues to reveal to us a higher way. 

Stopping to "smell the roses" is not only about experiencing this beauty with our senses but also about being present and still. Knowing I need much more of this ancient practice in my life, I often turn to nature to teach me her secrets. 

Just the other day I was reading an article about Nature Deficit Disorder. This hypothesis posed by Richard Louv in 2005 states that as humans, especially children, spend less time outdoors they are at risk for developing a wide range of behavioral and potential health problems.  

From my own personal experience I absolutely agree. During this trip even my mom commented on the "spirit of Alaska,"  her beauty, peace, grace, and serenity.  Being in nature just feels good. 

And of course so does enjoying great company in a warm hot tub with a good glass of red wine!

With summer winding down, and winter almost here (I think fall decided to skip over Alaska this year) I am looking forward to experiencing a different season in my beautiful home. As the bears head up the mountains to hibernate and the seedlings nestle down into the soil preparing for the cold, I too will use this time to slow my thoughts and practice deeper reflections; to look upon nature's divine ways toward the path of peace, joy, and liberation. 

Blessings, peace, and joy
-Sarah

Ian and I just finished the Douglas Frank Maier 1/2 Marathon. I was especially proud of Ian, not only was this his first 1/2 but he also beat me by 5 minutes. We have been trying to do at least 1 long run (10+ miles) on the weekend and today it felt like all the hard work paid off (we finished in the top ten for our flight).

In Sept we are going to be running the Klondike relay race from Alaska to Canada. Both of us have long distances, Ian 13.9 and mine 16 miles so continuing with the distance running is a must (as long as our knees and hips hold up).

Today I was struck by the camaraderie of all the runners. Each time we passed (or were passed) people would offer supportive encouragements and sentiments. I enjoyed coming up with new ways to say the same things.  Of course towards the end all I could do was clap, I needed the spare breath if I was going to hit my goal time.

However, in-between my salutations and many hills my mind kept wondering back to the fighting in the Middle East and Gaza.  This issue has become ever present in my mind lately as Ian and I personally know a young adult, Hitham, who recently returned to Gaza after spending the last year here in Juneau. At the end of the race I saw his sponsor who told me that he had lost 5 members of his family last week. This war is so tragic and spilling over with the decaying of human potentials.  I wish I could do more.

Ian at the top of Mt Juneau

Some say that it will never resolve, I hope that they are wrong. Still, I do believe that until we can embrace an active nonviolent life nothing will change. For most of us, learning to become non-violent with ourselves is the first step. This means no longer nurturing the violence within us, embracing unconditional love towards others, persistently pursing truth, radically forgiving those who hurt us, steadfastly resisting every form of evil, and even be willing to accept suffering in the struggle for justice without the desire for retaliation. It saddens me that there are some of us who still do not understand their claim as sons and daughters of the God of Peace, and do not hear their call to go forth as peacemakers in this world.  I really should re-read the Sermon on the Mount and practice its truths more.

Taking active nonviolence further, it also suggests that we no longer manifest violence towards others or treat animals and the earth so violently. It means we no longer choose to remain powerless in the face of the world's injustices, war making, nuclear weapons and destructive self serving policies. In all the humanitarian novels that I have read, in all the history books, and in each active nonviolent grassroots movement one thing is the same, they all started with one person (think Martin Luther King and Gandhi).

A prairie dog that we saw at the top of Mt. Juneau

A mother Tarmagon trying to go on the hike with us. She had several little babies with her. 

There really are two directions that you go in life, two forces at work: growth and decay or violence and nonviolence. When we continually expand in growth and non violence eventually our expansion encompasses all. At this point you can feel the pain of the world, the lines of Self blur into the realm of Humanity as a whole. And in our growth we become lighter. Carrying around sorrow, depression, anger, jealousy, hate, etc really does weigh you down. I don't recommend that you try it, but most of us know that it really does! However in releasing these things and exchanging them for love, gratitude, forgiveness, you become lighter and lighter until the lines of Us vs Them are blurred. And tell me who among us doesn't want to weigh less?

I think about Love expanding and dispersing, such the opposite of collecting and hoarding. As it comes in it goes, as it fills so it also radiates out.

Working on losing your individuality and becoming nonviolent is hard but as we become less identified with ourselves and realize our inheritance as children of the God of Peace I really believe that not only does our soul become lighter and more free, but we will also change the world.

Blessings, Love, and Peace.
 -Sarah

Last year Ian and I were seriously considering hosting an exchange student. We met with the program coordinator and even picked out a young girl from Yemen. Unfortunately we were not sure about our future living arrangements or available space so decided to hold off for another year.  Fast forward several months later and at a non-violence peace meeting we meet Maha, the girl we had picked!

When asked what she had left on her Juneau bucket list (secretly hoping that there was something so I could hang out with her) she mentioned wanting to see the ice caves. So of course I had to take her.

Although the hike, scenery, glacier and caves were beautiful, I enjoyed our talks most. I was certainly drawn to her poise, commitment to religious values, and positivity. We talked a lot about what Yemen was like and how she felt being in America when it was bombed by our drones. I do not claim to know all the political angles and reasoning behind that kind of violence but I do know that while talking with Maha I felt a deep sense shame and sorrow for those attacks.

A few weeks ago Ian and I went to hear a Palestinian exchange student talk about his home in the Gaza Strip. A friend of ours took him kayaking and when he heard planes flying overhead he thought they were going to drop bombs.  Sadly, that is all he knows in Gaza; planes mean destruction, death, and war. He also spoke on the difficulties he and his family have in leaving his walled city, the unpredictable border closings and the 6 hr daily limits on electricity and water.  He found it amazing that in the US we can not only turn on the faucet any time we want but that we can also drink the very water coming out of the spout. 

I find these people are serendipitous to my life, invaluable souls meant to take me from my sheltered self centered thinking into a global worldview.  Last year I purchased a world map and have it hanging in my living room. I decided to circle all the countries where there are human right atrocities and genocides currently taking place and pray/meditate for them daily.  Countries like Eastern Burma, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Sudan, Syria, etc.  I even bought country flag lapel pins to wear on my backpack, purse, and clothing.  It helps me to continually remember my brothers and sisters abroad and not get too caught up in myself. If I cannot physically go there to serve, I can at least give them purposeful thoughts and love.  As a matter of fact, we can all do this, and should be doing this! As a society, I know that if we do not change our daily lives, we certainly cannot change the world. 

In my opinion, does the world need more energy, oil, or food? No. There are enough resources for all us. There is starvation, poverty, and disease because of ignorance, prejudice, greed, and fear; because we have created wars over imaginary geographic boundaries and act as if one group of people is different or more special than another. What the world needs is not more oil, but more love, generosity, kindness and understanding. Until those are attained, the other levels will not work. 

In the beginning I found the world's problems so overwhelming. Now I don't even separate them from my daily life. Because they suffer, we all do too. And even though they seem huge and helpless, as a citizen of this world it is our social responsibility to bring about creative change now and for the generations' generation. We may not see immediate results, but if we can change a little for the next generation and continue the process, our children's children will have a better world. 

Recently, a friend's daughter had a lemonade stand to raise money for her school playground.  She asked her mom if she could also donate some money to an orphanage. Knowing that I go to one each January, her mom told her yes. So on a wet Juneau Saturday, Evelyn and her friend Nikki sold lemonade and baked goods, not only for their school, but also for the children of Nicaragua. I cannot tell you how much this touched my heart. This is exactly what our world needs: more love, kindness, generosity and awareness.  

We know that 40,000 children in the third world die every day of hunger yet we keep forgetting. The kind of society we live in today makes us forgetful. It keeps us entertained and distracted, busy going through mindless motions of daily routines that cater to the preoccupation with self and self preservation. That is why it is so important to remember others, self will get you no where. At least no where meaningful.  If we are going to clean up this mess at all I truly believe it begins with awareness. 

To begin, we can pray for the least of us who suffer daily here and abroad, remember them with our thoughts, and above all love.

I had to include this picture ....I thought Ian looked so cute!

Peace and Love,

Sarah

HAITI

I don't even know where to begin. I am on my way home from Haiti, currently at Miami airport and my heart and mind are reeling from what I saw and experienced. Even though it is well into the afternoon, "Bonswa" has no place here. This makes me sad, I am not ready to forget the Haitian people. As a matter of fact, I know I never will.

It is hard to describe what went on over the last 2 wks. 2100 patients later, though, I will never be the same. I didn't even take many pictures during the trip, my conscious wouldn't let me. Somehow snapping pictures of someone in the midst of their poverty just didn't seem right. It was just too pitiful, too unfair.

I have traveled to the 3rd world many times, but have seen nothing like this before. I have never felt weak during clinic because of what I was seeing, too sick to finish my lunch because I was thinking of those who go without, or cried after leaving a country because the images still haunt me. Even as I write this I have the familiar lump in my throat. At any moment, if the right person were to give me a hug I know I would weep in their arms for my brothers and sisters in Haiti.

Some of the hardest moments came in seeing the severely malnourished children. Instead of viewing them on TV it became a present reality. Not only did I see the flies on their faces like the television adds, but now I heard them buzzing.

One infant boy lost his mother during child birth and was being raised by his father. At 2 months of age he weighed just over 5 lbs. I carefully picked him up to feed him a bottle, and while rocking him tried unsuccessfully to sing him Jesus Loves You. I couldn't get past the first sentence without tearing up. I still think of him.

The little baby I tried to sing to

Another 15 month old child weighed just under 12 lbs. He just sat there staring as I examined him, too weak to resist. His legs the size of garden hose, his tummy swollen from protein deficiency. Given the extreme states of some of the children we start them on Plumpy Nut, a high calorie peanut butter food supplement to be given 3 times a day in addition to meals. When the package was opened and the little boy saw that it was food, he immediately reached out for the Plumpy Nut and started eating. Myself and the pediatrician both broke down in tears. I had to walk away. Few of us will ever know this kind of hunger. I still think of him as well.

One of the malnourished children eating Plumpy Nut

In addition to the children, most adults we saw were thin and hungry as well. They are a beautiful brown group of walking skeleton people. Never ever forget how blessed we are in the US.

It is commonplace to see amputees from the earthquake hobbling along with worn out crutches, women carrying heavy supplies on their heads, or men pushing large amounts of materials in wheelbarrows up mountains in 90 degree heat.

I will never forget those faces and stares. Nor will I forget the men, women, and children who waited and slept for days outside with the hope of being seen by one of us for medical care. Nor  the woman I saw who walked in ragged flip flops over a mountain (literally a mountain) to come to our clinic. She left at 2 am walking without food or water until 2 pm to see me for less than 15 minutes. She was so grateful and I will not forget her. Nor will I forget how everyone wore their best clothes and hats when they came to see us as a sign of respect. Their best clothes...... many of my patients back home come in their pajamas.

People waiting outside our clinic to be seen

Perhaps the hardest part for me was on the drive to the airport today. As we rode through the capital Port Au Prince, I felt physically sick to my stomach. I caught myself holding my breath because it burned my lungs so bad to breath in the fumes of diesel mixed in with piles upon piles of burning plastic and trash. I felt sick seeing old men digging in mounds of garbage for food, sick that you could see all the bones on the starving dogs, sick that the homes were rebuilt yet still crumbling and cracked, sick that sewage ran in the streets, sick knowing this was reality for thousands of people....sick, sick, sick. I want to vomit, I want to purge my mind of all this but I know I can't and the better part of me says don't, never forget them. I will probably need a good cry when I get home and see Ian. I will probably cry when I talk to my mom.

On the airplane ride from Port Au Prince to Miami I sat next to a Haitian man who will be working on a cruise ship this summer. This is his first time out of his country. I try to speak Creole with him, but his English is much better than my Creole. At one point he asks if I am married. I tell him yes. He is quiet for a moment then asks if an American would ever marry a black man. This catches me off guard at first, but then I remember that his country was founded on the backs of African slaves, that his people still are reaping the consequences of past corrupt governments. Not so strange I tell myself; he has probably always felt his ethnicity and poverty make him second class. I tell him that if a man has a good heart I would marry him regardless of his skin color, after all, it doesn't matter. I tell him that across cultures, borders, languages, and creeds we are all the same. We are all brothers and sisters. Even though I give him a hug, I am still saddened. I will not forget him either.

Two of the Haitian interpreters, Amiee and I. Hughes, my interpreter just finished medical school in the Dominican Republic

With several hours of flying ahead of me I start to think again about our world. I sit watching as people rush to their gates or wait in line at Starbucks. Almost everyone here is on their iPhone. Do they know what is going on in this world?  I cannot blame them, well not totally. I was once the same. It is easier to read about what Kate Middleton is wearing than about global affairs, especially once your conscious gets involved. It is too depressing. Then I think of Haiti. Too depressing for me is nothing compared to the reality that it brings for so many there and all over our world.

I am pointing to Cyvadier, the town where FOTCOH (Friends of the Children of Haiti) is located. 

With technology and travel it has become so small. How then, can so many of us today live totally unaffected by the injustices, poverty, war, and disease of our fellow brothers and sisters? Sure the oil prices may rise and maybe we see something on the news, but in the safety or our well furnished comfortable homes we carry on totally unaffected by "them over there." We forget as Bono says, that there is no them, only us.

As far as humanitarian aid goes, I am proud of our country in being the leader of global donations. I was happy to see several USAID tarps donated by the American people after the earthquake and bags of rice donning the American flag. Along with the presence of UN trucks throughout the country this somewhat softened my rage and disappointment. I think most of the anger though was directed at myself for not being more affected by their situation earlier.

Sadly though for most of us, myself included, as we go about our lives and careers very little of our time, money, and attention is given to the suffering of this world. Did you know that each day there are 30 wars going on? Or that during that same 24 hr period thousands of children die from malnutrition or preventable diseases?

Here's the thing.....the world DESPERATELY needs us to be an expression of God's love. DESPERATELY. While in Haiti I was so moved by the circumstances that I spent much of my morning meditating on gratefulness and love. As a matter of fact, without doing this every morning there is no way I would have made it through the day. Mentally I wouldn't have been strong enough.

I am back in the states now having returned more conflicted than ever. I wonder how long my sadness with last and if I will ever be able to eat a meal again without thinking of my Haitian brothers and sister who are going to be hungry each night. I wonder about Blandine, the girl we sponsor, and her family. Will she think of us as I will her?

Blandine and I 

As I look to the world for answers through my privileged blue eyes I know this about myself: I am not ok with suffering; human and animal alike. My two years in bush Alaska certainly reinforced this. And in working through that experience I realized that not being ok is totally ok. As a matter of fact, not being ok with suffering is what makes us human.

So in knowing this, I had to ask myself "Who am I and who do I choose to be in relation to those who suffer?"

And here's is what I came up with. I am a conduit of love to a broken world, and am an image bearer of something divine. This is true for all of us. And this beautiful Divine demonstrates His love by allowing us to demonstrate ours....Every encounter we have with another person is an opportunity for us to give them a glimpse of what the Creator thinks of them. EVERY encounter we have with each other matters.  I have heard character described as  how you treat those who can do nothing for you. I need to build more character.

Even though many things in my life need a healthy re-evaluation, I know this, I have chosen to change and to pour my inner alabaster jar on the feet of this world. Some may say that I am chasing rainbows but I believe in the hope that those illusions bring. So I will go on chasing the rainbows and hopefully inspire others to go after them as well.

As for Haiti and the Haitian people, I know I will never be the same.

blessings
- Sarah