Welcome Gretchen!

Even though much of the east coast was unreachable by plane or automobile last week due to heavy snow, the sun was shining in Philadelphia.  As we ventured on our 24 hour journey to Blake and Gretchen's wedding I nervously paced by the Arrival / Departure screens at all the airports. Thankfully though, the flights to Philadelphia were never delayed or cancelled.

We arrived late Friday night and even though we didn't make the rehearsal wedding itself, we did make the dinner! It was so good to see my families: the Ringenbergs, the Nieckos, the Clements and to finally meet the Hornings (Gretchen's family).

One of the things that I love most about my family is that it's DNA has grown. The Niecko's are as much a part of me as they are too my parents. And, Susie's family has become another extension of not just family but friends. I have come to think it normal that all the in-laws would hang out together outside of weddings and holidays, because they often do!

So, walking into the rehearsal dinner with not only my parents there, but also my in-laws, and Jason's in-laws was not a surprise, but very much expected! We love our families!!!

In meeting Grethen's parents and sister for the first time, I see why Blake chose her for a wife.  We are so happy to have them as part of our expanding family and know that they will become as close to us as the others.

In keeping with the family theme, one of the highlights was seeing my mother's brothers and their wives. I have not seen my uncle Butch for over 10 years and my uncle Bill for almost 25.  It has always been sad to me that the Wallace's are not the best at keeping in touch. For this reason much of my mother's history is a mystery.

However, time did not create a distance in my heart. I was brought to tears when I saw them, it was such a wonderful joy to have them come and though short, a blessing to see them again.

And, of course it was great to see all of the Ringenberg's, I swear my aunt's don't age (you look good too uncle Steve, Tom, and Paul, but your wives take the cake)!  They came from all over the country, far and wide for Blake and Gretchen's big day. This is one thing that I am truly grateful for, their efforts to always be a part of our lives. I think it was something that they learned from my grandparents, to always value and foster the relationships with each other as we grow.

This theme has been heavy on my heart since coming back from Nicaragua, we NEED family and community. We were not created to be alone. Aside from the obvious joy of bearing witness to two people making a covenant to each other, being in a room with so many people that I love is what really gave me a sense of belonging.

And, this sense of community was not only about DNA, it was about long friendships as well. The person I have known the longest outside of my own family drove the 10 hours to support Blake as well. Amanda really is special in so many ways.  She has always remained steady, supportive, and true to our friendship. It was so fun catching up with her busy life a a special ed teacher, wife, and mother of two.  We also enjoyed discussing our many ways of recycling, saving the whales, and trading vegetarian recipes. I just love you, Amanda!

In addition, Ian got to do the communion and say a Hebrew blessing over Blake and Gretchen during their ceremony.  It was very meaningful for both my parent's and hers and I was extremely proud of him up there.

Like I expected their wedding was small, intimate and very meaningful. As Gretchen came down the isle, Blake was all smiles and I think even teary. You will never have to question if they love each other. She is extremely devoted and I know that Blake is going to take his role as a husband very seriously.

After the ceremony the wedding guests were shuttled to a near by lake and we sent off Chinese dragon lanterns. Once the hot air filled the lantern, they slowly lifted into the air. You were then supposed to say a prayer.

Amanda and I had a little trouble getting ours going, but eventually it did and we sent it off with a prayer. It was really pretty seeing all of these lanterns in the sky. Thankfully they were also biodegradable!



The simplicity of the day was also refreshing.  Sometimes I wonder if we associate the over materialization of weddings and holidays with more meaning.  It seems that now-a-days everything has gotten larger. But are super super size fries and a 2X milkshake really that good?  I will speak for myself and for what I have experienced (and really, am not judging anyone), but from what I notice, meaning is really found in the intangibles: love, joy, peace, community. Of course, these intangibles can and often do manifest physically, but even when the physical is gone, the intangible will always remain.  This why more stuff, bigger homes, etc will never equate with the pure things like love, joy, and peace.

An example of this would be my grandmother. I really loved her, especially towards the end of her life. When I took the time to get to know her as a person and not just as a grandmother I really developed a true love and enjoyment from her. However, even though she passed, I still feel the same. My intangible love and joy from her still exist...those did not die! And, although the necklace that I have of hers is meaningful, I don't need this to remember those feelings...they are stored in my heart and mind for eternity.

So, after my whirlwind travel month of some 12,000 mile (bad carbon foot print) I have circled around to find this: meaning is found in the small stuff that is intangibly large.

Blessings, love, and peace to you dear friends.

-Sarah

Nicaragua

What an amazing trip to Nicaragua! Currently I am in Seattle airport on my way back from Nicaragua. This time it was harder saying goodbye than times prior.  I think it was because I learned so much about others and myself on this trip. 

For starters, I am stronger than I previously thought!

In traveling to the most remote parts of Nicaragua, one must assume some road hazards will present themselves. As we drove the big yellow bus through the mountains we came upon a most unfortunate event, mud. 

Of course, with a little extra man power, this would not persist to be a problem and soon thereafter we were off toward our make shift clinic. 

Here is a picture of my office.....

And here is a picture of my desk. 

And here is the toilet throne......Holding your breath while you pee was a like chewing gum and walking, something that should not be so hard, but for some reason is! 

One day we actually set up our clinic on a coffee plantation. It was absolutely beautiful! Everywhere you looked there were coffee trees, rolling hills, and flowers. I did not take many pictures on this trip aside from the little dresses because we had an assigned photographer with us, so once I get her pictures I will post some, it was just gorgeous! 

People leaving our clinic

Many of the people that I saw actually worked on one of the many coffee plantations. It seems to be very hard and labor intensive work. One man I saw was actually bit by a snake while picking the coffee beans! 

By far, though, my favorite part of the trip was seeing the children with their little dresses. Thankfully one of the women working ropa (clothing) was able to take some pictures of the little girls. They were extremely busy handing out clothing, but graciously she stopped to capture these smiles. 

The little girl below was actually deaf and could not speak. I was told that she picked out this dress herself and had a huge smile as she left. 

Perhaps the most moving of my little gifts came from this girl.  Before I left, my colleague, Stacy, gave me some special beanie baby toys to take with me. Her mother had passed a few years ago and after putting it off, Stacey finally decided to part with her mother's favorite collectibles. 

I was saving a butterfly (her mother's favorite) for a special little girl all week long. When this child sat down I noticed a sparkled butterfly on her T-shirt. When we were done with our visit I asked her if she liked butterflies....with a huge smile she pointed to her shirt and said yes! 

I then pulled out Stacy's gift and the little girls eyes just lit up. From the time I gave her the toy and until she left, she kept holding it to her heart. People actually came up to me and asked if I given it to her because they noticed how much she loved it. It was almost like Stacy's mom had singled her out. 

We saw almost 800 people during out trip. Most had no access to medical care either because of their location from the nearest clinic, or because they were too poor to afford the medicines. We saw a lot of pathology, many sick children, and even a few very difficult and sad cases. And even though many of the people waited hours to be seen, they all received us with great thanks. 

This elderly woman kept hugging and kissing me on the cheek when were were finished. She kept thanking the American doctors for thinking of the people in Nicaragua. It was a very tender moment for me and still draws tears to my eyes. 

So, here's what I have learned:

You think that because you understand “one” that you must therefore understand “two” because one plus one makes two. But you forget that you must also understand “and” 

– Sufi teaching story

The above quote pretty much sums up my time in Nicaragua, it was the AND.  Throughout my time I kept seeing all of these happy people…how could this be with such poverty? How did they retain their joy when life was so difficult? I mean poverty + lack of resources = unhappiness, right? 

For example, these little children spent hours playing with an old tire and a stick.....try to entertain your children with those things in America! I was watching them from afar and could not get over how happy they were. Even at the orphanage, the children found fun with a plastic chair! 

It baffled me the entire time! Finally one night at dinner as I sat with the interpreters, I grew enough courage to ask.

I started with what I had noticed: the difficulties, hard life, labor intensive jobs for little pay, oppression, etc and then asked how their families continued to be so positive.

Here’s what they said. 

In America you have abundance and opportunity. Not just to go to college and have good jobs, but to also buy cars, own bigger homes, go on vacations, and have many of the same things (two tv’s, many pairs of shoes, etc). 

However, as you accumulate all of this stuff (and much of it is extra repeats of things we already own) comes more stress. You have jobs inside, spend less time with your families, buy your meals from packages, and often complain about your circumstances of somehow not having enough. 

Here in Nicaragua, we may not have all of your luxuries, but we also do have all of your stress. We know we will never be able to buy a bigger house or own a car. And if we do not work, we will not eat. Still, our families are together and there is a great sense of pride that comes from a long day of work and being able to put food on our  table. 

We do not worry about buying extra things because we only are able to supply what we need right now. It is freeing to live this simply. We don't have time to worry about tomorrow because we live for today. 

I thought long and hard about this….could this be the answer? Living simply? Sure, I enjoy many of the perks of being an American; clean water, hot showers, access to medical care, the right to vote, modern conveniences like a washer and dryer, but when it comes down to it, there is a lot that I could easily live without or have in moderation.

Women hand washing their clothes in the river

I am extremely thankful for my freedoms here, but also feel very disconnected with our persistent gluttony, especially when it comes off the expense of others. Coming home from a 3rd world country only reinforced my views.

My friend is right, though, my high cost living comes at a great expense.  I have to work longer hours to pay for my lifestyle and as a result spend less time doing the things that actually give me great joy.  Still, the greatest expense comes with the environmental cost of meeting my demands. There is just so much waste and pollution. 

Ian and I have made great strides to live more simply, but in my returning to the states, I am making a more determined effort to lessen my carbon footprint.  It's just the right thing to do for myself, for my earth, and for my fellow man. 

So thank you, Nicaragua, for allowing me to come into your beautiful country and serve your beautiful people!

Sarah

What Difference Can I Make?

5 different planes, 6 cities, and 29 hours later I finally made it to Nicaragua! I met most of the team in Chicago and then we flew together to Miami and then on to Managua. Thankfully all of my luggage made it safely. After all, I very important cargo.....52 little dresses and bunches of clothes to deliver!

It has been wonderful reconnecting with many of the returning team and meeting new faces as well. They come from all over the US: Illinois, Michigan, North Carolina, Indiana, and Ohio. We have an OB/GYN, a dermatologist, a gastroenterologist, a pediatrician, and myself in family practice. We also have many nurses and layman working in ropa (clothing) making a total of 20 team members. 

Today we arrived in Los Cedros at the Children of Destiny orphanage. I am constantly in awe of these sweet little spirits and how much they have endured. Here is a picture of the front of the orphanage. We will leave Los Cedros tomorrow for Jinotega, and arrive at the Amiguitos orphanage which will be our home base for the next 4 nights.

Los Cedros

Today I spent some time with Fernando (7), Beline (4), and Michelle (3).  They just arrived at the orphanage 1 week ago. Fernando was working in the streets as a clown to get money for food, and Beline was a window washer.  They are unsure about Michelle's story, she has been shy and very quiet.  They loved having their pictures taken and I really enjoyed playing with them..... kind of want to take them home with me. Unfortunately, though,  they all are in quarantine due to their scabies, but really, I didn't care, they were just too sweet.

Later in the afternoon we went to Laguna Del Apoyoa, a volcano, and had lunch. The restaurant is actually in the volcano's crater and is positioned by the crater's lake.  It was so wonderful. Not only was the food great, but I loved the sun (something that seems to skip Juneau).

Tomorrow the work begins. We have much to do in preparation for the next 10 days, unpacking and sorting all of the clothing/shoes and beginning to organize the medications.  For me, though, it doesn't seem like work at all, I really do enjoy it. It just feels right. 

There is something indescribable for me about medical missions.  It feels like I am home. As soon as we came to the orphanage I found myself breathing slower and consumed in peace. I am enjoying Juneau and my current job, but honestly, I believe that this is what I was made for.

Sure, the showers have zero pressure and are cold. And, you cannot drink the water and may end up sleeping with a gecko, but hey, that is what makes it fun, right? My face has never been dirtier, no amount of deodorant will cover up my sweaty smell, and yes, my leg hair is l-o-n-g, but i just love it!

It both blesses and amazes me that amidst the poverty, I continually find some of the most grateful, generous, and joyful people. Nicaragua is the 2nd poorest country in the western hemisphere, second only to Haiti. I am actually headed to Haiti this summer (as long as work approves) with a pharmacist that I met three years ago on my first Nicaragua trip.

Well, it took me 3 hours to load these pictures. I had intentions to add a lot more but I am tired, sweaty and ready for a good nights sleep. On a more positive note, I was able to skype Ian tonight. Pretty cool that some 6,000 miles away I not only get to hear his voice but also see him! But, for those of you Juneau-nites could you maybe have him over for dinner? My pseudo bachelor has been living off of left over potatoes that I made before I left (I think this is night 3 of having them) and PB & J, haha. 

January 21

We have arrived in Jinotego at the next orphanage. This one is quite a bit of fun as we actually get to spend much more time playing with the children.  There is a large open gym in the center of the orphanage where the children rollar skate and play games. I wish Ian was here, he is so good at children's games.  We also get to eat dinner with them. The language barrier is a little difficult, so I am DETERMINED to learn spanish this time when I get home.



We spent all afternoon sorting out the ropa (clothing) and medicines. I was really proud of our little dresses and many of the orphans / Nicaraguan interpreters were commenting on how cute they were (Go Juneau!)  It means so much to me that many of the colleagues I work with dedicated so much time and money into making these dresses.  I was getting all emotional when I started unpacking them. Finally being here with all the anticipation almost brought me to tears.  Thanks Michelle, Magil, Rachel, Willie, Kim, Dan, Mike, Melissa, Stacey, Ethan, Mom!

As we were sorting all of the donations I was thinking how I was going to try to make a difference on this trip. The answer came tonight when we all gathered together after dinner to discuss the day. It is not how "I" can make a difference but how "We" can together. The synergy that unites and passes through us is what creates the changes. Loving our fellow man together is powerful. 

When the conscious understands that we truly are all one, we realize that our power is not in the differences that separate us, but comes from the love that unites us.   During this trip as I seek to fully engage with my fellow team members I know that together our synergy of love will create lasting changes. So in preparation for the first clinic tomorrow I am going to meditate on this:

In a world that often stands up for "I", I am determined to be a voice for "We."

Sarah